Easier Said Than Done

This has been on my mind for a while now. I think I've written before that we spent some time in our Sunday School class discussing emotional hurts and healing earlier this year. Our teacher rightfully said that one of the first steps to healing from a hurt is forgiveness and that it is only after you have forgiven the person who hurt you, can you start to heal.

I have a situation in my life where someone said something very hurtful to me a bit over a year ago. I'm sure this person doesn't even realize how one sentence basically finished off our friendship. One sentence.

I know I should forgive her. Like I said, she doesn't even know that she said something that hurt me. All she knows is that I am civil to her, not friendly anymore, but she has never asked if something was wrong. I've tried to forgive her, and I've asked God to help me forgive her, but what I really want to do is tell her what she did and how that made me feel. Not that it will restore our friendship, not that it would really do any good for either of us, not that it would further a goal of conflict resolution. But just because I want her to know how much that one sentence hurt. And that's not what I should be doing or feeling as a Christian.

Our sons are still friends, and her son comes over occasionally. I'm not overly fond of him, but he's been a decent friend to my son since first grade. They are both going to be in a technology program their 4 years in high school, so between the boys' friendship and school activities, I will need to interact with this woman for at least 4 more years. Again, I do try to be polite and civil, and will continue to be so, but I would truly like to be able to not dwell on this. I want the desire to forgive her, and I'm not sure I'm there yet. Isn't that awful? God forgave me of a lot more than one sentence, yet I can't get over this. I've told myself that I've forgiven her. I've said "I forgive you" outloud, but I can't let it go.

I need God's intervention in this situation because it is obviously something I won't be able to do on my own. Thankfully God has forgiven me and has given me so many promises through His Word, that I know in His time, He will give me the desire and the ability to truly let go.