Sometimes I Just Don't Understand

Not sometimes, a lot of the time! I love my brother, I really do. I just don't understand some of his choices.

My oldest brother (age 57) just filed for bankrupcy last week. He is single, owns his own home and works for a local factory. He had a 3-month period of layoff this past winter but otherwise has had fairly steady employment and paychecks. He hasn't shared much of his financial problems, but I know he was one of those homeowners with the adjustable rate mortgages who didn't understand just how adjustable those rates would be, and apparently his monthly payment increased dramatically. He did tell me that when he went to see the attorney to see about saving his house, the attorney told him that he had so much debt, at his current income he would never be able to pay it all in his lifetime. I just don't understand. He has always had to have the latest and most up to date Mac computers and digital cameras, but how can he have so much debt? He has no dependents, other than a few furbabies. I believe his vehicles are paid for. What happened to get him to this point? Why was he willing to make payments to other creditors and risk losing his house by not paying his mortgage? Last year he was late paying his yearly real estate taxes; I don't know about this year. And several years ago, he lost his driver's license for 6 months (but still drove anyhow) because he didn't pay his car insurance. I just don't understand his priorities.

My aunt was like that. When she passed, she was weeks away from filing bankrupcy, and her creditors got pennies on the dollar because she owed more than her only asset - her house - was worth. I can't imagine owing credit card companies more than my house is worth! It just boggles the mind. When we went through things, getting ready for the estate auction, she had 5 TVs, several VCR players, rooms full of books, and a basement full of dry goods. It took my mom several years just to use up the toilet paper that was stored! Yet she had tens of thousands of dollars of debt. My neighbor across the road, her house has been posted for sheriff's sale at the end of the month. She works for the post office and has 2 sons who she only has during the summer and does not pay child support. But because of where I sit all day, I can see when the water company or the electric company comes to shut off her utilities for nonpayment, which has happened several times. How can your mortgage payment and basic utilities not be a top priority? How can you not know what you are signing regarding loan payments or fail to pay uiltities for your home? I just don't get it.

I'll be the first to admit, I have a lot more debt than I would like, and my latest setback with the van and the transmission is very discouraging, but I will make sure that my kids have a home and utilities, and I'll do what I need to do to pay my obligations. And I'm truly trying not to judge others, but sometimes I have to shake my head because I just don't understand.