Practicing What I Preach

I had a meltdown last night. We came home after youth group, and pulling into the driveway, I noticed shingles not only in the drive but embedded in the yard. Yes, you read that right, embedded. As in standing straight up, sunk about 2 inches into the ground. We had had high winds all day and I had noticed a few small branches in the backyard earlier, nothing major, though. I tried to see where the shingles had come from, but it was dificult in the dark. (This morning after Bible study, I saw they had come from the porch roof.) I was already slightly stressed over my finances the last few weeks, and last night I became a tad more than slightly stressed. I was short-tempered, irritable and about to cry. My daughter even said I shouldn't take my bad mood out on them. (not like she ever does that! but I digress....)

It was mentioned this morning at Bible study that part of being a Christian means that worry should no longer be a part of our lives, that God is in control. I have head knowledge of this. I know it, I tell it to my kids and other people, but I have a really hard time living it. My mom was a worrier, as in being treated for OCD because of the worry, and while I try to blame part of my first instinct to panic on that, I can't. It boils down to me not trusting God to work things out for His glory. He knew that I was going to lose shingles yesterday. He knew that I wasn't going to have the money feel comfortable about calling for estimates. He knew I would panic, and He knew that I would ask forgiveness for that worry and panic and ask for His help in relying on Him. It's funny. I have no problem relying on Him for the big things in life (my divorce, for example); it's the little things I struggle with, and half a dozen shingles are a little thing in the overall scheme of life.

Am I still stressed? Yes, I must admit I am, but I am not panicked any more. And I will keep turning back to the Lord until that stressed out feeling is gone too. It's time to practice what I preach.