1. Reconnecting with a friend after 18 years of separation and falling back into conversation like it was yesterday.
2. Air conditioning.
3. Ice cream with a friend.
4. Attending a Kutless concert with the kids.
5. Healthy teenagers.
6. Snuggling with babies in church nursery.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Driving -- Will It Ever End????
One down and one to go. DS got his license last month before they went to Jamaica, and he has done very well (from what I can tell) in his solo driving outtings and with his sister in the car. Insurance has, of course, gone through the roof but not as bad as it could. The funny thing is, my insurance will DROP by $200 a year once DD is insured. It seems that when you have more drivers than you do vehicles, the children become "occasional" drivers instead of "primary," which is a different rate structure. Needless to say, DD is now doing more driving to order to get her licensed ASAP. I don't care if she doesn't drive at all after she gets that license, but by golly, she's getting it! haha
She actually starts her in-car driving next week. This will be interesting because she refuses to drive in our hometown. She will drive in the country. She will drive on 2-lane highways. But absolutely will. not. drive. in our town. She doesn't want anyone she knows to see her when she doesn't think she's doing a good job. (insert rolling eyes here!) I've tried to assure her that she is a very good driver, but she's a perfectionist and obsesses over every little thing. Which behind the wheel can be a good thing, but not if it paralyzes her to the point where she won't drive at all. So tomorrow we are going to a similarly-sized town to get some practice. She's not thrilled, but as the instructor told us with my son, the paid-for driver's ed is not to actually teach them how to drive; it is to teach them how to pass the test. *sigh* I'm pretty sure we will have to renew her temps. I don't think she will be finished with her in-car driving before they expire, and I know for sure she won't have her night driving finished. At least with her it will be a little easier to go out after dark because she's such a night owl, unlike her brother.
Hopefully it won't be much longer before she's got her hours in and feels ready. She knows she has to drive certain places here in our town with me before she can test, and I'm hoping that the time with the instructor will improve her confidence as it did DS.
She actually starts her in-car driving next week. This will be interesting because she refuses to drive in our hometown. She will drive in the country. She will drive on 2-lane highways. But absolutely will. not. drive. in our town. She doesn't want anyone she knows to see her when she doesn't think she's doing a good job. (insert rolling eyes here!) I've tried to assure her that she is a very good driver, but she's a perfectionist and obsesses over every little thing. Which behind the wheel can be a good thing, but not if it paralyzes her to the point where she won't drive at all. So tomorrow we are going to a similarly-sized town to get some practice. She's not thrilled, but as the instructor told us with my son, the paid-for driver's ed is not to actually teach them how to drive; it is to teach them how to pass the test. *sigh* I'm pretty sure we will have to renew her temps. I don't think she will be finished with her in-car driving before they expire, and I know for sure she won't have her night driving finished. At least with her it will be a little easier to go out after dark because she's such a night owl, unlike her brother.
Hopefully it won't be much longer before she's got her hours in and feels ready. She knows she has to drive certain places here in our town with me before she can test, and I'm hoping that the time with the instructor will improve her confidence as it did DS.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Something To Think About
While the kids were gone on their mission trip, I had the opportunity to get together with a couple different friends. So one night I met up with a gal from church whom I consider a friend but had never really spent any one-on-one time with before and really only know her in the church setting.
I'm not sure how we got on the subject or why we stayed on it for over an hour, and other than being blunt, I'm not sure how to say this, but basically I was told that my kids and I are too intertwined and that it's not healthy for my kids or me to be together so much. Hmmm. Over the course of the conversation, she tried to brainstorm ideas for the kids to be away from home more and for me to be out of the house more by myself so that we are less dependent on each other, whether that be volunteering or getting a new job. She specifically thought my daughter was "a momma's girl." THAT was a surprise, because DD is the independent one! (A little background: This lady is single with no kids. She has a successful craft business from her home, but the majority of her day is taken up caring for her terminally ill father. Not an easy task by any means, but I wonder if her own background wasn't part of the basis for how our evening went.)
I really tried to figure out how she came to this conclusion. I work at home specifically so my kids have a parent at home with them. I think this is just as important for a teenager as a toddler. My daughter sits with me at church instead of with the teens (where my son sits) and helps out in the nursery, especially on mornings when I'm in there, but she is also on the schedule independently, so we are usually together. DD sits with me at potlucks and other church functions because our friends are family friends, and we all tend to sit together. The kids are looking for jobs, and DS has recently got his license, so the apron strings are being loosened, but that's an "earn the trust; get more freedom" type thing. It doesn't happen overnight. And in the last 4 weeks, they have spent 5 days at camp, 10 days in Jamaica and 2 days in Cincinnati, so it's not like they are afraid to be away from Mom. Personally, I didn't have much of a social life before I got married; I didn't expect that to change after the divorce, and frankly, I've got more friends and pleasant church activities now than I did then. (Before and during the divorce I was involved in the "business" side of our prevous church - not a pleasant church activity. Never, ever again.)
I've told 3 close friends about this conversation, and specifically asked the two who have known me since before kids about whether or not there was any grain of truth in what was being said. I didn't think there really was, but sometimes we're blind to the truth and I wanted to be sure.
So this is my take: My kids and I are close. They know that they can talk to me about anything (and they do, although DD more so than DS; go figure ;-) haha), and we generally enjoy being together. Outside of church youth functions, my kids rarely have the opportunity to spend even 1 night away from home, and while they love youth retreats and camp, they otherwise prefer to sleep in their own beds or to travel with me. Personally as a kid, the only time I spent away from home was 6 nights at band camp every summer in high school and the occasional sleepovers with a friend who lived here in my hometown when we lived elsewhere. And I think I adjusted to living away from home when I was a young adult just fine. Part of why my kids went to Jamaica was to get the experience of being away from home for more than 2 or 4 nights. And they did wonderfully and can't wait to go back! Were they ready to come home? Of course, but so was everyone else. Is there going to be an adjustment for all of us when college time comes? Absolutely, but we expect that. It's normal. It will be a time of growth for all 3 of us. I have a list of things to look forward to when the kids leave the house, but it's not a "I can't wait" type of thing; it's a "I'll have time to fill" type of thing. There's a difference. :-)
We are who we are. I'm grateful that at 16 my kids still want to spend time with me and aren't the type that want Mom to be 10 feet or more away at all times. haha I treasure this time because I know how short it will be. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to examine our family dynamic and make sure that we're (usually!) doing okay.
I'm not sure how we got on the subject or why we stayed on it for over an hour, and other than being blunt, I'm not sure how to say this, but basically I was told that my kids and I are too intertwined and that it's not healthy for my kids or me to be together so much. Hmmm. Over the course of the conversation, she tried to brainstorm ideas for the kids to be away from home more and for me to be out of the house more by myself so that we are less dependent on each other, whether that be volunteering or getting a new job. She specifically thought my daughter was "a momma's girl." THAT was a surprise, because DD is the independent one! (A little background: This lady is single with no kids. She has a successful craft business from her home, but the majority of her day is taken up caring for her terminally ill father. Not an easy task by any means, but I wonder if her own background wasn't part of the basis for how our evening went.)
I really tried to figure out how she came to this conclusion. I work at home specifically so my kids have a parent at home with them. I think this is just as important for a teenager as a toddler. My daughter sits with me at church instead of with the teens (where my son sits) and helps out in the nursery, especially on mornings when I'm in there, but she is also on the schedule independently, so we are usually together. DD sits with me at potlucks and other church functions because our friends are family friends, and we all tend to sit together. The kids are looking for jobs, and DS has recently got his license, so the apron strings are being loosened, but that's an "earn the trust; get more freedom" type thing. It doesn't happen overnight. And in the last 4 weeks, they have spent 5 days at camp, 10 days in Jamaica and 2 days in Cincinnati, so it's not like they are afraid to be away from Mom. Personally, I didn't have much of a social life before I got married; I didn't expect that to change after the divorce, and frankly, I've got more friends and pleasant church activities now than I did then. (Before and during the divorce I was involved in the "business" side of our prevous church - not a pleasant church activity. Never, ever again.)
I've told 3 close friends about this conversation, and specifically asked the two who have known me since before kids about whether or not there was any grain of truth in what was being said. I didn't think there really was, but sometimes we're blind to the truth and I wanted to be sure.
So this is my take: My kids and I are close. They know that they can talk to me about anything (and they do, although DD more so than DS; go figure ;-) haha), and we generally enjoy being together. Outside of church youth functions, my kids rarely have the opportunity to spend even 1 night away from home, and while they love youth retreats and camp, they otherwise prefer to sleep in their own beds or to travel with me. Personally as a kid, the only time I spent away from home was 6 nights at band camp every summer in high school and the occasional sleepovers with a friend who lived here in my hometown when we lived elsewhere. And I think I adjusted to living away from home when I was a young adult just fine. Part of why my kids went to Jamaica was to get the experience of being away from home for more than 2 or 4 nights. And they did wonderfully and can't wait to go back! Were they ready to come home? Of course, but so was everyone else. Is there going to be an adjustment for all of us when college time comes? Absolutely, but we expect that. It's normal. It will be a time of growth for all 3 of us. I have a list of things to look forward to when the kids leave the house, but it's not a "I can't wait" type of thing; it's a "I'll have time to fill" type of thing. There's a difference. :-)
We are who we are. I'm grateful that at 16 my kids still want to spend time with me and aren't the type that want Mom to be 10 feet or more away at all times. haha I treasure this time because I know how short it will be. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to examine our family dynamic and make sure that we're (usually!) doing okay.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
So Many Plans....
The kids are back from Jamaica...kind of. They were home less than 48 hours when they got invited to spend 2 nights with friends in Cincinnati and jumped at the chance. Hopefully when they come home-home tonight, they will be here long enough for me to finish up their laundry! hah They had a wonderful time while they were gone. Worked hard and played hard and had experiences they will never forget.
I had a list of stuff that I was going to do while they were gone, food to fix that they don't particularly like, places to go, things to do in the evenings.....and not much got done! First, I kind of misplaced my list. (insert embarrassed smiley face here!) Then, without the kids, I didn't really have much motivation to do things in the evening around the house. I did clean up the house and mow the yard, but that was it. No sewing or cross-stitching or quilting my lap quilt. Didn't get the fabric cut out for the quilt-in-a-day that has been on my to-do list for 6 months now. Didn't even read much or do the blogging (obviously!) I had planned. I did meet friends on a couple of occasions for dinner, and that was nice. And I did go to Amish country one day and had a very good time. I'd been before but never as the driver, and it has been probably 14 years since my last trip over there. It's less than 2 hours, so I don't know why I put it off....actually I do - too many temptations to spend money and blow my budget! I could have easily spent much more than I did, but I got some Christmas presents and a few craft supplies, so it's wasn't too bad. And I have plans to go back at least twice this summer, once with the kids and once with a friend and our daughters. Anyhoo, perhaps if I find my list, I can still get some of those things done. It was an interesting period of time with several topics of reflection for me while the kids were gone. Hopefully I won't lose that list, because I really want to get my thoughts down on them. The best of intentions/plans..... :-)
I had a list of stuff that I was going to do while they were gone, food to fix that they don't particularly like, places to go, things to do in the evenings.....and not much got done! First, I kind of misplaced my list. (insert embarrassed smiley face here!) Then, without the kids, I didn't really have much motivation to do things in the evening around the house. I did clean up the house and mow the yard, but that was it. No sewing or cross-stitching or quilting my lap quilt. Didn't get the fabric cut out for the quilt-in-a-day that has been on my to-do list for 6 months now. Didn't even read much or do the blogging (obviously!) I had planned. I did meet friends on a couple of occasions for dinner, and that was nice. And I did go to Amish country one day and had a very good time. I'd been before but never as the driver, and it has been probably 14 years since my last trip over there. It's less than 2 hours, so I don't know why I put it off....actually I do - too many temptations to spend money and blow my budget! I could have easily spent much more than I did, but I got some Christmas presents and a few craft supplies, so it's wasn't too bad. And I have plans to go back at least twice this summer, once with the kids and once with a friend and our daughters. Anyhoo, perhaps if I find my list, I can still get some of those things done. It was an interesting period of time with several topics of reflection for me while the kids were gone. Hopefully I won't lose that list, because I really want to get my thoughts down on them. The best of intentions/plans..... :-)
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